Ever sent a salacious text to your boyfriend and then realized it was actually to your boss? Do you know your partner’s email password? Are you constantly checking your phone, even when you’re on a date?
Even if you’ve never experienced these tech troubles, it’s likely you’ve encountered the intersection of technology and relationships — and maybe you’ve wondered how technology affects relationships. That means you may have decided to set some rules for yourself and your partner.
You don’t have to bend over backward to know how to have a healthy relationship. Instead, just follow these 20 dos and don’ts when mixing love with the latest technology.
Here are 20 ‘golden rules’ of using technology wisely in a relationship:
1. DO plug in your significant other’s iPhone or computer when you see the juice is low
2. DO share the joke with your spouse if you laugh out loud at something on your phone
3. DO text and email your spouse with the same care you did when you first started dating
Grocery lists and forwards don’t count as correspondence. Make time to send sweet-nothings to each other over Facebook and email
4. DO upload new books to his/her Kindle
New words will be a sweet surprise and will show that you’ve been thinking of them while they were away.
5. DON’T exchange email passwords with your partner, no matter how good of an idea it seems
6. DON’T hack into your partner’s email or phone
And definitely don’t read the messages, assume they are cheating on you, freak out, and post your suspicions on a social network or a website.
7. DO save cute texts, emails, and voicemails
8. Don’t send flirty text messages or emails on your company phone
That is unless you want to explain your texts to the Director of IT.
9. DO set a time limit for internet scrolling while you’re hanging out together
10. DO give technology as a gift, but not for a romantic occasion
If you need to charge it up, plug it in, or program it, it probably doesn’t make for a good (read: romantic) anniversary present.
11. DON’T email or scroll while talking on the phone with the other person
You may think you’re a multi-tasking queen (or king), but it’s distracting for both of you and it makes it seem like you only half-care about what he’s talking about.
12. DON’T bring up important topics in a medium that your partner is uncomfortable with
As in, don’t text him that you’re going to miss dinner if he’s a bad texter. And don’t message him that you’re mad at him if he prefers to hear your voice.
13. DO have a discussion with your partner about what technologies are okay for big discussions
Messages can be a great way to talk about emotional topics. For example, since you have time to formulate your thoughts before typing, you’re less likely to blurt something out in anger.
14. DO refrain from using tech lingo if it annoys your partner
15. DO put away your phone on important occasions
Like when you have a rare date night without the kids. And ask your partner to do the same.
16. DO keep tech snobbery to a minimum
“Fine, I’ll do it, that brick of yours doesn’t even have a video camera.”
17. DO at least try to figure something out before asking him or her to teach you a second time
18. DON’T bring tech to bed
19. DO use texting at parties to let your partner know that you want to go
20. DON’T make every other tweet or post about your partner
Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.